Saturday, April 16, 2011

He just makes it too easy...

Sometimes I forget just how good I have it.  Emmett is a really easy kid for the most part.  He sleeps great at night and takes good naps.  He eats well but doesn't overeat.  And he likes healthy foods too.  He drinks milk and water from his sippy cup like a champ (he's never even tasted juice and I plan to keep it that way).  And he's usually a happy kid.  He doesn't whine unless he has good reason.  He doesn't cry unless he gets hurt, or occasionally when he doesn't get his way when its something he feels really strongly about.  I know part of his good nature is just his personality.  But I also feel that Chris and I have to take some of the credit too.  He has a predictable schedule each day: meals, nap, and bedtime are always at relatively the same time.  Of course we do different things during the day in between those times so every day isn't exactly the same, otherwise we would all be terribly bored.  But kids like to know what to expect, it helps them to be well-adjusted.  Of course Chris and I have had to adjust our lives around Emmett, and we have this parenting thing down pretty well right now.  Just wait until we throw a second child into the mix.  I'm like 2% nervous and 98% excited about what that will be like.  Its starting to become harder and harder to wait, but I know its the right thing to do.  We need just a little more time to be financially and emotionally prepared.

On the other hand, during those times when Emmett makes this parenting thing a little difficult, I'm at a loss.  He's getting to the age where discipline is becoming necessary at times and I just don't know how I want to handle it.  I've tried a few things and so far the only thing that seems to work is redirection.  When he is getting into something he shouldn't, I can almost always get him interested in something constructive instead.  And I find that when he is getting into something he shouldn't be, its usually because he's bored and he needs a change of scenery or a new activity.  Redirection is something I learned in my child development classes in college and it works for children of all ages, most of the time.  But there will come a time in certain situations where actual disciplinary action will be necessary, and I'm just not sure what my method is going to be yet.  As a child I was spanked, but only a handful of times that I can even remember.  I was sensitive, so a simple scolding was usually enough to bring me to tears.  I've swatted Emmett on the butt a few times through his clothes, and it doesn't do much good.  Often I don't do it hard enough and he just laughs, or if I get him hard enough that he cries, it still doesn't stop the behavior.  He goes right back to whatever he was doing.  And he thinks its a game.  He runs right over to what he's not supposed to be doing and looks back at me to see if I'm watching with a big ol' grin on his face.  I've also slapped the back of his hand a few times when he's throwing food off his tray or ripping his bib off when he still needs to have it on.  Again, same thing, he either laughs or cries and then goes right back to what he was doing.  And I don't like the way I feel after doing it.  It just seems wrong.  So I think I've decided that physical punishment does not work for me or for Emmett.  A lot of parents have success with "time out" but Emmett is too young for that.  He would never sit in a chair for a minute.  So I don't know.  I never expected to have trouble with this.  When you're an expert in child development, you expect it to be easy, black and white.  But when its your own child its just not that simple.  For now as long as redirection continues to work, that's the plan I'm going with until it doesn't.

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