I had to cut my last post short because it was interrupted by a phone call. As soon as I saw it was my dad, I knew exactly what the call was going to be about. My Grandma passed away on Friday September 30th. We knew her days were numbered. She had recurring brain cancer that was incurrable and had been living in the hospice house for a few months. She was first diagnosed with brain cancer a few years ago and had the tumors removed. She then went through radiation treatment and one round of chemo. The chemo affected her badly and she chose not to continue the treatment. The doctors told her that without chemo the cancer would almost certainly return, it was just a matter of when. She decided that if that happened, it was just her time and she was ready to go. Her mental state declined gradually after that. She went from requiring a daily visit from a nurse, to requiring an all day nurse, to a live-in nurse. After that she was moved to assisted living, then a nursing home, then hospice house. The morning she passed away she had a seizure and never regained conciousness.
Most of my extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) live in Pennsylvania. When I was little we lived not even two hours away and I saw my grandparents often. When I was 11 we moved to Virginia and our visits became less frequent. Once I moved to North Carolina after college we didn't even go up once a year. After having Emmett it became even harder to travel the distance. We finally took him to PA for a visit last April. He was not quite 18 months old then, but it was the first time my Grandma ever saw him, and also the last. The visit was awkward, Emmett not being comfortable with someone he's never seen before in the strange setting of the assisted living center. It was difficult for me too, to see my Grandma in the condition she was in. I don't even like to remember her that way, I remember her the way she was when I was young. I feel bad that we didn't see her more often, but unfortunately I can't go back in time and change it.
My Grandma was a wonderful lady. I can only hope to be half the person she was. She had 5 children. My dad was her 4th. There are 12 grandchildren of which I am number 7. And so far 9 great-grandchildren. The most amazing part is that we were all together, for the first time in years, for Grandma's funeral. Grandma was always trying to make us be the best we could be. She wrote me letters regularly in college so that I would always have mail. Even after we moved to VA she and Grandpa came to the important events in my life. They were there for my high school graduation, in fact that is the last picture I have of my Grandparents before my Grandpa passed away the summer after my freshman year of college. They came to my all-district choir concert my junior year in high school. I still have the bear my Grandma gave me after the performance. I have a lot more wonderful memories that will always be dear to my heart.
Ever since I heard the news I have had a peaceful heart. I know that it was her time and she was ready to go. I also know she and Grandpa are together again, in heaven, and I can only hope to live my life as such that I will see them again there one day.
One the way to PA for her funeral I got news that a friend of mine had her baby. The circle of life really is an amazing thing.
