Well hello November...

Its finally starting to feel like fall.  Down here it doesn't really get cold until November, and sometimes even then it jumps back and forth between warm days and cold days.  It also means its time for me to come to grips with the fact that Emmett's first birthday is this month.  I'm sure I'll writing on this subject a lot this month.  It definitely touches on some deep emotions that I will need to deal with.

But today I want to discuss something not so deep, something quite shallow actually.  Its something that I bet a lot of first time mothers feel but don't want to talk about because they are afraid of how they will seem to others.  But something you probably already know about me is that I don't keep much to myself.  So here it is.

Most of the feelings I have about Emmett's first birthday involve being sad about him growing up so fast and not being my little baby anymore.  But I am also sad about losing the glamour of being "the lady with the baby" out in public.  When you're out with your baby at the mall or at the grocery store, people smile at you more, they stop and talk to you and tell you how cute your baby is and ask how old he is.  Pretty soon he will be at the age where no one will care anymore.  He will just be another kid at the mall or the grocery store to the general public.  And as he becomes a todler, there will even be moments where he will throw fits out in public and people will NOT be smiling at us anymore.  I have to admit that I am really going to miss the attention.  Since I stayed home with Emmett, there were a lot of days that we didn't leave the house except to take a walk around the neighborhood because I just didn't feel like going out.  Now I wish I had gone out more and basked in the glory of being "the lady with the baby." 

We are planning to have a second child at some point, probably closer to when Emmett is 3, at least that's what I'm thinking today.  I change my mind quite regularly about how many years I want between my children.  And I know that I will get to be "the lady with the baby" again.  I just know it won't be the same when I have a 2 or 3 year old child as well.  I will probably go out even less because of the hastle it will be to take a todler and a baby out in public.  And that's if we can still afford for me to stay home.

So there, I said it.  Its out there, and I know I'm not alone!