How Did We Get Here?

If you read my first post about my kids' obsession with screens, you probably thought "How did you let it get so out of control in the first place?" Well...let me lay it out for you.

To truly understand how screens took hold in our household, you must first understand my eldest son, Emmett. The first time he walked, he ran. And never stopped. He was always on the go, always one step ahead of me, always looking to the next thing. Grocery shopping with him was a nightmare, as was any activity that required even one iota of patience from him. Sometime around the age of 2 he was introduced to his first iPhone and the game of Angry Birds. And just like that we found something that could keep his attention for significant periods of time. We began giving him a phone to play at restaurants so that we could actually go out to eat without losing our minds. I tried to keep his screen time to a minimum, only if we really needed it. He watched TV some as a toddler, but typically played with toys and paid minimal attention to whatever Nick Jr. or Disney show was on. The one exception was the Disney movie Cars, which he could watch in its entirety because it was the epitome of his one true love: vehicles. We thought we had it under control.

Enter: baby brother Owen. Oh how I loved my sweet, cuddly second baby boy...except that he was so clingy. He cried whenever I had to put him down to help Emmett with potty training or whatever else big brother, just under 3, needed at the time. I could not hold him enough for his taste. And so anything went for a while, just to keep the peace, and Emmett had screen time to his heart's desire. And Owen was born into a home where the TV was always on. And he quickly assimilated.

As time marched on more gaming devices were introduced from phones to game systems and more. Owen, even more so than Emmett, came to love video games. Now in our defense, we do and have done plenty of other things besides sitting inside our home on screens. We go to playgrounds, we bowl, attend local baseball and hockey games, go swimming, visit pumpkin patches, tractor shows, and any number of other events. But it seems that if we're at home, we're screening.

The funny thing about my idea to have our kids give up screens is that I am the least likely person to ever make a decision like this. If you had told me even two months ago that we would be doing this, I would have told you that you are certifiably crazy and to pass me the wine. Personally, I watch minimal TV and I spend some of my spare time on facebook, but otherwise I can honestly say, without a doubt, that I am not addicted to my phone. The boys did tell me that if they had to do it, I had to do it too. Frankly it's been easy. I only use my phone for necessary communication throughout the day. As for my husband, I'm allowing him to be as involved or uninvolved in this project as he wishes. It seems he is fully on board with this endeavor.

In the past I justified the amount of time my kids spent on screens in a variety of ways:

• They're tired from a long day of school, they deserve time to unwind.
• It's ok if they're learning something from it.
• Being tech-savvy will prepare them for the future in a technological world.
• They choose to do other things occasionally.
• I can get more work done when they are occupied with screens.
• I deserve time to relax and their screen time allows me that.

It's not that these aren't true. It's that they are excuses I made when I didn't want to admit that it had gone on too long. I even dreaded the fussing I was sure to hear if when I told them their screen time was over. So I just...didn't. 

Now here we are, in the nitty gritty of this experiment and I'm not going to say it isn't hard. I've been tempted to cave many times. But going cold turkey is easier for me than reducing their screen time. Even just 30 minutes is like a gateway drug. It's a full-blown addiction and the only way to kick it is to eliminate it. I fully intend to bring it back in reasonable moderation once we have proven that we can not only live without it, but that we are better off. Here's hoping we reach that conclusion sooner than later.