The one year mark is a pretty big milestone. A lot of things can change at this point. Babies can start drinking the moo juice and eat foods made with milk after one year. Leading up to his birthday I thought a lot about weaning. I was really having a difficult time deciding if I wanted to wean or not.
As you probably already know, Emmett was born by c-section and spent his first 4 days in the NICU. For the first 2 days he was under an oxygen hood and was fed only through his IV. By the time I was finally able to hold him and attempt to start breastfeeding we were already behind in the game. NICU babies are significantly less likely to be breastfed due to their difficult beginnings. We worked with the lactation consultant who specialized in NICU babies to try and get things going, but I had no milk yet (which is common for mothers who are induced, as I was) and he couldn't figure out how to latch on (a bad combination because he has no motivation to learn to latch when he's not getting any milk). We tried everything. We tried a nipple shield. We tried a nipple shield with a really small tube run underneath it pumping formula into it with a syringe. We tried just squirting formula onto me and into his mouth whenever he tried to suck. And even with the nursing pillow, the baby would put weight on my incision and it burned and stung badly. Every 3 hours we would try until Emmett and I were both frustrated and crying. Then we would end up feeding him formula out of a bottle with a spoon or cup sort of thing that was basically pouring it in his mouth so that he won't get spoiled by a bottle. Then I would go back to my room and pump and pump and get nothing but the tiniest bit of colostrum.
He was born on a Monday night and I was discharged on Thursday. Since E was still in the NICU we stayed in one of the parenting rooms Thursday night so we could be near him. That night we set our alarm to wake us up every 3 hours to go and feed him. That was one of the longest nights of my life. Still no milk, and I was close to giving up. By Friday morning we were moved out of the NICU and into a room in peds. The lactation consultant came every 3 hours during the day to help us keep working on breastfeeding. Each time we would try until we were all frustrated and then Chris would give him a bottle of forumla because he wasn't getting enough to eat with the cup. I couldn't give him a bottle because we didn't want him to think he could just get a bottle from me when nursing didn't work, at least that's what the LC said. Friday night we got up every 3 hours to give E a bottle and for me to pump. I didn't have the energy to try nursing in the middle of the night, but I was finally starting to get some milk when I pumped. By Saturday I was pumping enough milk that we were able to get him off forumla and at least give him breastmilk in a bottle. I was actually pretty satisfied with that and began to think that I didn't care if he ever learned to latch on as long as he was drinking breastmilk. The LC was off for the weekend so we just worked on it ourselves Saturday and Sunday. That made it a little less stressful because we just tried for maybe 15 minutes each feeding and when he still couldn't latch I would pump and Chris would give him a bottle.
On Monday morning before the LC was in we tried as usual to get him to latch with the nipple shield. For some reason, I don't know why, he latched on and drank for maybe 2 minutes straight! It was such a relief. After that we continued to work on it and he got to the point where he could sufficiently nurse as long as we used the nipple shield. By the time we left the hospital on Thursday I was feeling very confident about breastfeeding. It continued to go well after we got home and we settled into a good routine.
When Emmett was about a month old I decided that I was tired of using the nipple shield. I always had to worry about forgetting it if we went out anywhere and it was messy. So I made an effort to get him to latch on without it. After a few days of failure I made an appointment to go into the hospital and meet with another lactation consultant. I couldn't get in to see the same LC we had before, but the one I saw was very helpful. We also weighed him before nursing and after nursing to see how many ounces he was drinking and we found out that he was getting plenty to eat. She also helped me with positioning so that he could latch better. I was amazed by how much faster he ate once we could do it without the nipple shield.
After that we were consistently nursing the proper way. We only had a few hiccups in the first year of his life. We had some issues with biting a few different times. E got teeth early, his first one at 3 months, but he never bit me until he was about 5 months old. He seems to only bite me when he's teething. When he was about 7 months old my supply dropped for some reason and we had issues with let down. My milk wouldn't let down and he wasn't patient enough to wait for it, especially when he was tired. I began to worry that he was self weaning then. I used to have to pump the milk down for him so that he would nurse. I spoke to another LC over the phone and learned some techniques to help with let down. We got past all of these hurdles and he is still nursing now.
I took many things into consideration when making my decision about whether or not to keep breastfeeding after the one year mark. First of all, as you just read, breastfeeding was a long journey for us, and after working so hard to get it down its hard to just give it up. The doctor actually encouraged me to keep breastfeeding when I took E in for his one year check up. And it is cold and flu season so the added benefits to the immune system could be crucial. I did not get E the flu shot, mostly because he doesn't go to daycare, and the doctor was in agreement with that. However, sometimes breastfeeding is inconvenient. It give me less flexibility as far as being away from E. And I HATE pumping. I'm also ready to give up nursing bras. I am not ready to give up the boost to my metabolism though. I haven't been at this weight since I had jaw surgery in college and had my jaw wired shut for a month. I miss my curves a bit, but I think this is a healthier weight for me. And part of me is not ready to give up the bonding time. So in the end I have decided to keep breastfeeding, but be more flexible about it. On normal days when we're home I will nurse him on the same schedule I have been. But if something comes up that I have to be gone over one of the times when he would normally nurse, he can drink whole milk from his sippy cup. So far its working just fine. I'm not sure now how much longer we will go. Right now I say there is no way he will reach the age of 2 still nursing. But that's the most I will committ to at this point.
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