I am past due again. Am I really surprised? No, not really. I have no idea what it is about me or my babies that causes me not to go into labor. I know its not something that I can control. I've done everything that I know of, that I've read about, that people have told me to try. So if there was something I could do to go into labor, it would have happened.
I went to the doctor this past Tuesday. I was still dilated 1 cm just like I have been for 3 weeks now. My doctor needed to call the OBGYN doctor that we have been consulting with to discuss options. Much to my surprise, they are willing to attempt an induction. The risk of uterine rupture doubles when labor is induced but it is still a very small risk. I will go back to the doctor this coming Tuesday if labor doesn't happen on its own before then. At that time we will schedule the induction at the hospital to begin Wednesday night. The plan is to do what they call cervical ripening (insert a certain medication and let it sit overnight while you sleep to soften the cervix). Then they will begin pitocin (the drug that makes you have contractions) Thursday morning. That's what we were supposed to do when Emmett was born, but when I got to the hospital last time for my induction I was already having contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. I was barely feeling them, so I didn't even realize it. Because I was contracting they decided to skip cervical ripening and start the pitocin that night, even though I wasn't dilated at all. 26 hours and change later, Emmett was finally born by c-section. Despite getting fully dilated and pushing for 2.5 hours, his head was too big to push out. I am a little worried that an induction will just go the same way it went last time. But I feel that it is worth a try to avoid having a c-section. And the doctors think this baby is smaller than Emmett was. My biggest fear is that this baby will end up going to the NICU with breathing problems like Emmett did. But, I have no reason to believe that having a c-section instead of an induction would make that any less likely to happen. The doctors don't seem to think so either, becuase I asked about risks to the baby, stating that as my biggest concern (obviously). Of course there is still a chance I could go into labor on my own before Tuesday, which would be the best case scenario. But I'm not too optimistic.
I have everything ready for the baby to be born. Thanks to my crazy nesting, I couldn't be more ready. Everything is clean, washed, and in place. The house is in the best shape its been in since we moved in 6 years ago. I would love a bigger house, but I've done the best I can with the amount of house we have. We have 3 bedrooms, which will soon all be occupied (no more guest room, unfortunately). But if we can make this house work for a few more years while the kids are little, it will save us a lot of money and make it possible for me to stay home with my boys. When they are both ready to be in school full time, I will be ready to go back to work full time. Not that I'm looking forward to going back to work, I am certainly happier staying home with them. But to go back to having 2 incomes again would make life so much easier for us. We could actually plan some fun things like vacations for example. And deep down, I do miss teaching just a little bit and I would like to give it another try. Plus teaching is perfect for being a mother. That's a small part of why I chose it as my profession in the first place. By the time I go back my teaching license will have expired, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Now it is time to go take care of my current chocolate craving while Emmett is still napping.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
39 weeks and 3 days
Due date is Sunday. So far, nothing's happening. I'm getting really impatient. I'm hot and uncomfortable. And I'm anxious. If I go past due, the chances of having another c-section increase. No one will give me a straight answer about induction. One doctor says that research has been released stating it is safe to induce labor using pitocin in a VBAC attempt, but that the hospital's official stance is that they won't allow it. Another doctor says that it may be possible but that the hospital doesn't like to do it. The OBGYN doctor we consulted with says that they prefer you go into labor on your own to attempt a VBAC. The risk is one in 2,000 that the uterus could rupture at the previous incision, resulting in an emergency c-section.
Other factors that a VBAC hinges on:
1. baby's position - head down: check
2. baby's size: so far not too big, but head measured large at 37 week ultrasound - not a deal breaker
So if I go past due, I just don't know what I want to do. I want to avoid a c-section if possible, so I don't want to just schedule it for the day after my due date. I am not sure if I want to be induced, because the chances are higher that my uterus could rupture. And I'm not sure they will allow that anyway. But the longer I go past due, the bigger the baby could get, making it less likely that his head will fit through my pelvis, which was the problem with my first labor and delivery. I just want to go into labor naturally sometime between now and Sunday. I'm beginning to feel pretty stressed about it. I have my regular doctor's appointment tomorrow. At my 38 week appointment I was still one centimeter dilated just as I was at 37 weeks. Another disadvantage to going past due is that I will be required to go to the hospital for non-stress tests every 2 days or so until the baby comes. That is not only inconvenient, but expensive since insurance only covers part of those just like everything else.
Reasons why I feel stressed about having another c-section:
1. pain - I was in severe pain for the first 2 days after having the c-section, to the point where I couldn't even walk down to the NICU to see my baby. Took me almost 24 hours after to be able to climb into a wheelchair in order to go see him. Was able to walk by the afternoon of the 3rd day. Was discharged on the 4th day while my baby remained in the NICU, and at that time I was unable to bend over far enough to pick something up off of the floor. Pain also made breastfeeding difficult, as it was nearly impossible for me to the hold the baby, even with a nursing pillow, in the necessary position.
2. risks to the baby - when Emmett was born by c-section he ended up with a lot of fluid in his lungs, as well as meconium. This resulted in a 5 day stay in the NICU and then another 5 day stay in pediatrics getting antibiotics. Babies who are squeezed through the birth canal the traditional way get a lot of that fluid squeezed out naturally.
3. fear of epidural without being in any previous pain - not really excited about the prospect of a needle in my spine when I feel perfectly fine. It was nothing compared to the pain of contractions, but to go in cold and just get a needle in my spine doesn't sound too good.
Reasons why I feel stressed about having a VBAC:
1. risk of uterin rupture - could cause me pain and all sorts of other complications. Could cause the baby to be at risk for all sorts of complications as well.
2. stresses to the baby as a result of the pushing - Emmett had severe bruises (hematoma) on his head from the 2.5 hours of pushing. Also, being in the birth canal for such a long labor may have been the cause of the fluid and meconium in his lungs.
I really hate waiting. I hate having all of this out of my control. And I hate the fact that ultimately, I'm going to have to make a really difficult decision if I don't go into labor by Sunday. I really had no idea how difficult it is to have another baby after having your first child by c-section. Who would have thought?
Other factors that a VBAC hinges on:
1. baby's position - head down: check
2. baby's size: so far not too big, but head measured large at 37 week ultrasound - not a deal breaker
So if I go past due, I just don't know what I want to do. I want to avoid a c-section if possible, so I don't want to just schedule it for the day after my due date. I am not sure if I want to be induced, because the chances are higher that my uterus could rupture. And I'm not sure they will allow that anyway. But the longer I go past due, the bigger the baby could get, making it less likely that his head will fit through my pelvis, which was the problem with my first labor and delivery. I just want to go into labor naturally sometime between now and Sunday. I'm beginning to feel pretty stressed about it. I have my regular doctor's appointment tomorrow. At my 38 week appointment I was still one centimeter dilated just as I was at 37 weeks. Another disadvantage to going past due is that I will be required to go to the hospital for non-stress tests every 2 days or so until the baby comes. That is not only inconvenient, but expensive since insurance only covers part of those just like everything else.
Reasons why I feel stressed about having another c-section:
1. pain - I was in severe pain for the first 2 days after having the c-section, to the point where I couldn't even walk down to the NICU to see my baby. Took me almost 24 hours after to be able to climb into a wheelchair in order to go see him. Was able to walk by the afternoon of the 3rd day. Was discharged on the 4th day while my baby remained in the NICU, and at that time I was unable to bend over far enough to pick something up off of the floor. Pain also made breastfeeding difficult, as it was nearly impossible for me to the hold the baby, even with a nursing pillow, in the necessary position.
2. risks to the baby - when Emmett was born by c-section he ended up with a lot of fluid in his lungs, as well as meconium. This resulted in a 5 day stay in the NICU and then another 5 day stay in pediatrics getting antibiotics. Babies who are squeezed through the birth canal the traditional way get a lot of that fluid squeezed out naturally.
3. fear of epidural without being in any previous pain - not really excited about the prospect of a needle in my spine when I feel perfectly fine. It was nothing compared to the pain of contractions, but to go in cold and just get a needle in my spine doesn't sound too good.
Reasons why I feel stressed about having a VBAC:
1. risk of uterin rupture - could cause me pain and all sorts of other complications. Could cause the baby to be at risk for all sorts of complications as well.
2. stresses to the baby as a result of the pushing - Emmett had severe bruises (hematoma) on his head from the 2.5 hours of pushing. Also, being in the birth canal for such a long labor may have been the cause of the fluid and meconium in his lungs.
I really hate waiting. I hate having all of this out of my control. And I hate the fact that ultimately, I'm going to have to make a really difficult decision if I don't go into labor by Sunday. I really had no idea how difficult it is to have another baby after having your first child by c-section. Who would have thought?
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