Work sucks, I know

Well it didn't take long.  I already hate work again.  I wish I didn't need to work.  I wish that all the time.  But that wish isn't coming true.  I hate money.  It truly is the root of all evil.  Next!

Had a pretty good weekend.  Spent it with my boys, the big one and the little one.  Didn't do much, a little shopping.  I'm in need of new bras.  I'm no longer nursing during the daytime hours so I really don't need to wear my nursing bras except first thing in the morning and in the evening when Emmett goes to bed.  The nighttime nursing bras will work for that.  And none of my old bras fit me anymore.  I have lost almost 30 pounds since before I got pregnant, and unfortunately that took me down a cup size.  I am a C...a friggin C!  I haven't been a C cup since like 9th grade.  And every bra I try on just seems to flatten them out and make them seem even smaller.  I know I'm healthier at my current weight.  I even feel like I look better in pictures.  But I miss my curves a little bit.  And I feel saggy in a lot of areas.  I know that thinner is supposed to be better, but I'm having a hard time getting used to this.  Who would have thought that simply breastfeeding and being poor would make this much difference.  I think I actually want to make an effort to put a little of the weight back on.  I made some progress toward that goal on Saturday night when we made chocolate fondue, a Valentine's Day tradition of ours.  We also drank some good ol' Andre Spumante, my favorite cheap champagne.  It was yummy.  Next!

Emmett is officially down to one nap.  And its working out great.  He doesn't get cranky during the day at all, just sometimes acts a little sleepy around 11:00 AM when he used to be napping.  But now he eats lunch at noon and usually gets sleepy around 1:00 and he goes down for his nap with zero fuss.  He then sleeps around 2 hours usually, occasionally he may stretch it to almost 3 hours.  And he goes to bed easily too around 9:00, falls asleep in about 5 minutes or two lullabies.  Sleeps til almost 8:00 some mornings.  I'm getting used to it and I think I like it.  He really cracks me up lately.  He has a thing about putting things in his ears, especially food.  We have to check his ears before we get him out of his highchair.  He still isn't saying any intelligible words besides "Mama" and "Dada", but I'm not worried about it.  He will talk when he's ready to.  He babbles a lot and makes his own little Emmett sounds that are absolutely adorable.  He can walk fast enough now that I would call it running sometimes.  His attention span has quadrupled lately and he will actually sit on my lap or on the couch beside me and let me read whole books to him, sometimes multiple books in a row.  He loves being outside.  When the weather gets nice we won't be able to keep him inside.  The last couple of days have been really warm and so we've walked around outside our house a lot, picking up rocks and leaves and things and throwing golf balls around that he found in the garage.  He isn't interested in any toys I try to bring outside like a kick ball. 

Yesterday we learned that he is a pretty tough kid.  We were walking up and down the road in the part of our neighborhood where there's no traffic and he got to running a bit too fast downhill and fell down and bumped his head on the pavement and scraped up his pinky finger.  His head had a good sized bump and his pinky was bleeding.  He cried pretty hard for about a minute with tears streaming down his face while Daddy carried him back to the house.  And then he just sucked it up and got over it.  He didn't even cry when we washed his hand with soap and water, mostly because he was enjoying playing in the water.  We both felt bad that neither of us was able to catch him before he fell, but we know that he's going to get hurt sometimes and we won't always be able to catch him.  Its still isn't easy to see your baby hurt.

I miss teaching lately.  I think I must be losing my mind or something.  Especially because I'm considering teaching little kids again...like preschoolers.  Wow...yeah, I dunno.

Just as I suspected

I knew my blog was going to suffer since I went back to work.  I really hate that.  I vow to do better.

So my baby boy is 14 months old now, as of January 30th.  He is really not a baby anymore, he is a little boy.  Surprisingly though, I don't feel sad about that like I used to.  Maybe after a year my hormones have finally calmed down, because I swear I did nothing but cry his entire first year of life.  If I really let myself think too much I can get a little weepy about not having a baby anymore.  But pretty soon I am going to be ready to start trying for baby number two, so I think that helps.  Who knows what I'll be like next time, knowing it will be my last baby.  I am quite certain I don't want any more than two.  The idea of the kids outnumbering the parents makes me a little nervous.  And I want a girl so bad it hurts.  When I'm out I see families that have a boy and a girl and I feel jealous even though we're not even there yet.  I am trying to be realistic and prepare myself for the fact that we could have another boy.  And that wouldn't be the worst thing.  I have loved every moment with my sweet baby boy, the hugs and kisses and snuggles.  I would love having another boy as well.  I would have an excuse to use all of Emmett's most adorable outfits all over again.  I have made a rule for myself that I am not allowed to start trying again until I am at a healthy place where I would be happy with another baby, boy or girl.  We'll see.

Work is still going ok.  Its nice to get a paycheck (I get my second one this Friday).  But I still wish I could be at home with Emmett every day.  I don't enjoy my job, I didn't before I left either.  I like helping people, but I don't always have the patience for the stupidity of the general public.  And no, not everyone I talk to is stupid, but most of the people who feel the need to call their credit union on a regular basis are.  In this day and age, if you can't figure out how to do the vast majority of your finances on your own, then you are probably stupid.  And then I'm encouraged and required to take advantage of these people, all in the name of "consultative sales."  I hate sales.  Its not like I didn't know what I was getting into.  I went back to the exact same position I left.  But no other job would have let me choose my own hours the way this place did.  If I ever do go back to work full time, the only thing I know for sure is that I will NOT work in sales ever again.  I actually plan to go back into education in some capacity, I'm just pretty sure I don't want to be a classroom teacher ever again.  I'm thinking about either subbing or being a teacher assistant.  How ridiculous would it be for someone with a Masters in Education to be a teacher assistant?  But that's what I want.  I like kids, I just don't like the ridiculous expectations that are put on teachers.  If I were a sub or a teacher assistant, I would be able to leave work as soon as the kids are on the bus.  I wouldn't have to stay after school for meetings, I wouldn't have any lesson plans or grading to do.  Of course the pay is significantly less, but there's no dollar sign on peace of mind.  It will be perfect once I have kids of school age.

Well that's a little of what's on my mind today.  I can't look at this computer screen any longer, I'm already getting a headache.