not such a big deal afterall

So I expected turning 30 to really hit me hard.  But it didn't.  It came, it went.  We went out the weekend after my birthday.  I had big plans to do some serious drinking and sing some karaoke.  Well I did drink quite a bit, but never got drunk.  Did sing some karaoke, but the dj at the bar we went to sucked.  He let his friends sing as much as they wanted and didn't call our group in order like its usually done, left out some of our friends all together.  So we ended up going back to our friends' house and playing Rock Band on their Wii and I had plenty of opportunities to sing then.  It was a good night, but I am definitely too old to drink like that.  I purposely held off on trying to get pregnant again just so that I could drink on my 30th.  Well I could have had just as good a time with no alcohol at all.  I'm one of those people who can get up and sing karaoke totally sober.  And when it was all said and done, I was not drunk at any point in the night, however I still woke up nauseous and had to throw up.  How stupid. 

I'm pretty happy with my life the way it is right now.  I haven't done any soul searching or worrying over whether or not I have achieved all I thought I would by this age.  I used to want 2 kids by the age of 30 and I only have one.  Oh well.  If I get pregnant soon I can still have the second one before I'm 31.  But who cares one way or the other?  I just want the second child to be born before Emmett turns 3.  I'm not teaching like I thought I would be.  If I had it to choose I wouldn't be working part time right now, but that's just something that I'm doing because I have to and I know its only temporary.  Lately I have been feeling more of an inclination to go back to teaching in some capacity, but not until Emmett and his future sibling are ready to go to school.  I wish I could have my own business or some kind of job that I could do part time from home so that I could be a stay at home mom but still make a little extra so that money wouldn't be quite so tight.  I really just want the freedom to be my own boss.  But selling stuff just isn't for me.  Oh well, my life is what it is and I love it.  I always wanted to be a mom someday, ever since I was little and played with my first doll.  Its my true calling in life, as if I was incomplete before.  Its like the thing I was always searching for that kept me from being completely happy.  I think as long as you are happy with your life, turning 30 isn't that hard.