The Calm Before the Storm

Another school year is coming to a close, and as I sit and bask in the quiet of my home for the last full school day without my boys, I feel the need to put some thoughts into words...

As another long summer looms ahead of us, I am reflecting on last year's screen-free summer. Have we regressed some in our screen time since last summer? Yes, some. But not as much as I expected. We are flexible with screen time, and I feel that the boys have retained a lot of their ability to entertain themselves without screens. We still keep it in moderation.

Since last summer we have moved to a new home. The new house has a bonus room that we have turned into a play room. The boys actually spend a lot of time in there playing with toys together and this has been a positive in our lives, especially because the mess stays concentrated to one room. They can go to bed without having to clean up their bedrooms or step over toys on their way. The new house also has a bigger, fenced-in back yard with a large patio for more outdoor enjoyment space. And probably the biggest highlight is that the new neighborhood has a pool that just opened up since Memorial Day weekend. It is a very short walk from our house. That alone will give us more to do to get out of the house. This summer has a lot of potential to be pretty awesome!

This has been an awesome school year for both my boys. They have had amazing teachers and I'm very sorry to see this year come to an end. Emmett has had one of his best years yet, and his teacher deserves most of the credit, along with an experimental treatment for ADHD called Braincore Therapy, also known as Neurofeedback. It improved his focus and behavior and it's made all of our lives a little easier. Owen has developed a reputation for being the nice kid who makes sure no one is left out. As a mother, it doesn't get much better than that. I surprised him earlier in the week with a birthday lunch at school, because just like me, he has a July birthday and never gets to celebrate at school. I decided he deserved it for being such a great kid.

I'm trying to come up with some kind of experiment or theme for our summer this year. We won't give up screens again, because I feel like we still have a pretty good handle on that. Both boys could use more reading time in their day, so maybe we'll do some sort of reading incentive. I'd also like Emmett to learn how to type properly, so maybe I'll look for online typing practice. Owen needs to work on his speech over the summer, pronouncing R's and Th's, so maybe I can find something for that.

This post has been more of an update on our status quo than an expression of feelings. I am feeling emotional today, but I can't really define it. So I won't try. I'm going to do my best to enjoy my last day of freedom before I go back to being a full-time stay-at-home mother for the next few months. It's always hard, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The Results are In...

Here we are, the night before my kids go back to school. And you're wondering, did we make it? Did we touch even one device or watch a single TV show or movie all summer?

Of course we did! I'm not perfect. But we did break the cycle. We stopped using screens as a crutch. Here are the most positive of accomplishments:

• The boys can eat at a restaurant without playing devices.
• The boys can wait in waiting rooms without playing devices.
• The boys can grocery shop with me without playing devices (and for the most part I don't go crazy, emphasis on "for the most part.")
• The boys can get up in the morning and play quietly with toys and each other while I sleep in.

New rules in our house include:

• The boys must earn marbles toward screen time. 1 marble = 30 minutes. They earn them by doing chores around the house. This is just for phone or tablet time, TV is separate. 
• The maximum amount of device playing time per day is 1 hour no matter how many marbles they earn. Exceptions can be made as I see fit.
• TV can be watched with permission, but much less. And we've eliminated certain shows such as gaming shows and other "junk." I encourage movies, which tend to have much more depth to the story line, teach more of a lesson, deal with deeper emotions, and require a much longer attention span.

Screen time has majorly increased in the last few weeks as we've been prepping our home to sell, which requires that the boys keep their rooms very neat. Screen time helps with that. Throughout this extremely difficult process, it's easier for everyone. Now that school is back in session starting tomorrow, much less screen time should be required to keep the status quo. We are toying with the idea of relegating all screen time to weekends during the school year, but I'm hesitant as I don't want to encourage weekend binging. We may just stick to our one hour rule for weekdays, but give them the choice of TV or devices, not both. We'll just have to experiment. 

It seems that with increased screen time, ADHD behavior in Emmett has increased. I'm not certain that we have a clear cause and effect situation here, but signs point to yes (I asked my Magic 8 Ball). Owen still struggles to entertain himself independently without screens, but greatly improved over the summer. His love of video games will not diminish with any experiment it seems. We've got a hardcore gamer on our hands. 

The experiment was certainly an eye-opening experience that improved our household for the better. Did it fix all of our problems and produce perfect angel children? No! Get real. Did we play outside all summer and get tons of fresh air? No! North Carolina summers are too freakin' hot for that mess. Unless you're in a pool, forget about it. We swam some in pools and at the beach, but mostly we stayed inside in the air conditioning. We went to the library, we read books, we went to the Children's Museum and the Science Museum. We played board games...so many board games.

And we survived. We beat the addiction. I set out to make a change and I didn't give up.